Every Little Thing: Part II

This is the continuation and conclusion of my previous writing, “Every Little Thing”.

O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I’m far away. You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know everything I do. You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord. You go before me and follow me.You place your hand of blessing on my head. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand! (Psalms 139:1-6, NLT)

Today’s events in the opening ceremony of my new DELL retail outlet that I was talking about in my previous post have totally proved that GOD takes care of even the most little things and strengthened my faith immensely. There were several unexpected problems that were coming my way in today’s preparations for the opening ceremony as I had to juggle three things at once this week: managing my DELL retail outlets (my usual work), managing the IT fair at Jatim Expo International and also managing the opening of this new retail outlet, something (or a lot of things) was bound to go wrong as I was pushing myself far beyond my limits leaving myself dead tired and totally stretched thin.

Deadline Day Issues
In my previous post, I stated that I have to deal with the store opening deadline, which is actually on November 1st, 2011. This deadline has given me a lot of headache, because at that point, I will still have an IT fair running at Jatim Expo so my time and resources would be really limited. My dad then made the decision that we were going to hold the store opening ceremony and blessings on November 5th, 2011 (today) and proceed to start the retail store’s operation on Monday, November 7th, 2011.

This hard decision was ultimately made to avoid any further conflict and issues with the mall’s management. Unfortunately, as this decision was made in quite a rush, it brought forth another issue that we only had a few days to prepare everything and finish the entire renovation work. I asked my contractors to make haste and finish things on time, and by God’s grace, the store interior renovations were completed by this morning, allowing me to proceed with the opening ceremony. There are still some minor work left to do on the exterior, but they should be finished by Sunday night, which means I should be able to finally open this store for business on Monday (barring any major unexpected things).

…And Then I Forgot To Ask Permission…
Yes, due to my hectic schedule, I actually forgot to inform the mall’s management about this opening ceremony and invite them to it. Since my store is located around the centre of an open area with a lot of traffic, it would have been wise to ask them for permission first, as the opening ceremony would start with a prayer meeting, which would have been a strange sight for people not familiar with it. So this morning I wrote an invitation letter and drove as fast as I can to the mall to finish this issue…

…only to find the management office CLOSED. I then asked a security guard nearby and he told me that it’s been a while since the management office are closed on Saturdays. Last I remembered, it was open on Saturdays, albeit only for a half-day. Well, at least since the management were closed, it means I wouldn’t have any problems with them today with the ceremony. But it sure led to another problem.

…And THERE WERE NO CHAIRS!!!
When I did my previous store opening ceremonies in this mall, the management would let me borrow their chairs for the event. Since their office was closed, it means there were no chairs that I could borrow! I then arranged for some chairs to be delivered from my office to the store, but it would take some time before the chairs arrived, while I had to start the opening ceremony real soon, as the guests were already coming in.

But GOD was Good and Gracious…
Since we had no chairs, the worship leader just asked us to stand around together in a circle. Somehow, this made the situation more intimate and I could certainly feel GOD’s presence being there. Although we only sang three songs in acapella (since we were worried it would have been too loud and distracting for the other stores nearby if we used a guitar), I felt the songs really came out from the heart towards GOD. After some testimonies from me and my dad as the store owners, it was then time for the sermon to begin.

To be honest, coming in to this opening ceremony, I didn’t know who was going to preach. I had hoped for someone from ICA to give the sermon and bless the store, but as I was very busy and it was all so sudden, I didn’t have the chance to invite someone from ICA. When the prayer meeting organizer asked who would I have liked to invite, my mind was just totally blank,as I couldn’t think clearly at that time due to hecticness. So I left the decision on whom to invite entirely on the organizer, but it turns out that GOD was the ultimate organizer and He made a divine appointment for me. Guess who GOD invited?

Every Little Thing…

When it’s all falling down on you
You’re crying out but you’re breaking in two
When it’s all crashing down on you
When there’s nothing you can do
There is someone who can carry you

Last Friday, it seemed as if things could not have been any worse. As some of you might know, currently I am in the process of opening a new DELL retail store in a shopping mall in Surabaya. Early on, when we came to the mall’s management to sign the agreement and legal contracts, there was one clause there that I said I couldn’t agree to.

The mall’s management stated that the store’s neon box has to be made by a certain neon box maker that was chosen by the mall. I said that this was not possible, as DELL have their own standards for their retail stores. The design of every store, including its neon box and store furnitures, are the same all over Indonesia. I did not even have to design or build a thing. I only need to facilitate the rent with the mall and provide the place for the store, then DELL would handle the store renovation and install everything for me. So basically it just works like this: I rent the place, DELL fixes it and then I operate it.

We talked about this at length, and I said that if that’s the rule over there and they cannot bend it, then I am okay with it and I would just tell DELL that they cannot open a store there. The guy from the management then said that the rule is flexible and is actually there just to ensure that the quality of the neon boxes in the mall are good and not made from rubbish material. As long as the quality of the neon box is good then there would be no issue with DELL installing it. He even pointed out another store that has installed their own neon box.

This point was actually very debatable as the clause said clearly that “the neon box cannot be installed by the store owner or the brand vendor (which means DELL)”, but as the guy convinced me that it would be okay, I decided to sign the agreement. Which is why I was very surprised when last Friday they turned back on their words and called me to say that I have to obey the clause and handle the neon box’s construction to their chosen maker.

I tried to call DELL and they said that I have to follow their rules, if I want to open a DELL retail store then all of the design, construction and installation have to be from them. I then called the mall’s management again to inform them of this, but they chose to keep their position too, even after I explained that I have told them all about this before when I was going to sign the agreement. Then they just say that this decision came “directly from the general manager”.

At this point I was becoming confused and angry, and I had a fit of rage. Despite this week’s teachings to guard my mind from murderous thoughts, those thoughts were exactly what I had in my mind after all this. I lost control of myself and was prepared to harm and do bad things to this person just to have my way with it (even though later when I came to my senses I learned that doing things physically won’t help at all, it would just make it worse).

Fortunately I have friends who prayed for me and calmed me down. I asked one friend to suggest some songs that he always run to when he’s in trouble like this. We went through several songs, but in the end I came back to the song that I’ve always listened to whenever I was in deep trouble: Delirious – Every Little Thing.

And If We Are The Body…

Came back from the GO Group discussion about the real meaning of the Third Commandment (do not bear the name of the LORD lightly) and I got the inspiration to write about this when I listened to this chorus part of Casting Crowns’ song, “If We Are The Body”:

If we are the body,
Why aren’t His arms reaching?
Why aren’t His hands healing?
Why aren’t His words teaching?

And if we are the body,
Why aren’t His feet going?
Why is His love not showing them
There is a way?

Sometimes, whenever we face difficulties in the church, difficult Christians, people who are not acting like they should, as believers and childrens of Christ – we hear people say “do not look at the people, but just look at Jesus”. For years I thought that this is the way to take when dealing with such people. But then I found out that this is not rightly so.

Pump Up Your Respect!

Just like you need to regularly go to the gym and pump iron to make your physical muscles grow, you also need to regularly and consciously make an effort to love and respect your parents, pumping up your ‘honor for parents’ and making it grow.

Interesting quote, isn’t it? That was one thing I learned from Pastor Jeff Hartensveld’s sermon “Honor Pumped Up” during today’s Parents Appreciation Day. If you never make any effort to love and respect your parents, then you will never be able to honor them. You won’t suddenly be respectful to your parents just because you want it to be or because you prayed for it. This reminds me of an old story where a woman was trying to kill her mother in law slowly with poison…

Baptism Testimony (24.09.2011)

My baptism by Pastor Jeff Hartensveld and John Taylor

This is the testimony of my baptism that took place today, on September 24th, 2011. I know that we have been asked to prepare just a short testimony, but I strongly feel that I need to write the entire story and post it here so that people can really know the story behind my decision to get baptized. This is also meant for those who could not attend the baptism earlier and could not listen to what I shared there (even though I shared only the short version there). So here it is, the whole truth and the whole story behind it.

The question that most of my friends seem to ask (especially from those that have known me for a time) when they heard I was getting baptized was, “Why did you choose to get baptized again? Didn’t you already get baptized in 2001?”. Some people thought I did this because my 2001 baptism was by sprinkling of water, while this one was baptism by immersion, but that’s not what it’s all about.

Do I Know You?

Author’s Note:
Article originally written on the day before Good Friday 2008 and migrated here.

But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God — having a form of godliness but denying its power.
(2 Timothy 3:1-5)

Commentaries from the Life Application Bible and the IVP Commentary explained the fifth verse this way, “The ‘form’ or appearance of godliness includes going to church, knowing Christian doctrine, using Christian clichés, and following a community’s Christian traditions. Such practices can make a person outwardly look good, but if the inner attitudes of belief, love, and worship are lacking, the public appearance is hollow, meaningless. When confronted, their inability to express their faith will reveal that beneath the ‘form of godliness’ there is only a vacuum of unbelief. They make a claim to godliness (with their claim to know God) but deny this claim with their powerless lives.”

When I decided to study more about these verses after I heard them in a late sermon, I can’t help but to wonder if the “terrible times in the last days” mentioned here has come. Reading the commentaries, I can’t help but to feel that the verse is speaking to me, reminding me of my own fall. Yes, I might be still writing articles in this blog and I might still be going to church, but sometimes I do feel my inner attitudes of belief, love and worship are missing. I often lose heart and lose hope during my trials, and that led to enormous mood swings and bad tempers that has irritated many others. When I have a bad temper, I lost my love and began filling my mind with hatred and murderous thoughts. Worse still, it has been a few months since I had a proper quiet time. Nowadays it’s really hard for me to worship God. When I’m in church, I just want to skip right over to the sermon and pass the praise and worship moments.

This reminded me about Jesus’ strong words recorded on Matthew 7:21-23, “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’”.

These verses talk about how working for Jesus is useless if you don’t know Jesus personally. It would be like working hard in a company where you never knew who the boss is. When a hard time comes, you come to the boss and say to him, “Boss, I know we’re facing a hard time now, but I have been working for this company 20 years, how could you just fire me?”. Imagine how would you respond if the boss replied “Get away from me. I never knew you!”, knowing still that his words were true — despite working for 20 years in the company, you never bothered to find out who you’re working for and get to know him. What would you do if it is Jesus who speak those words to you in the last day? Would you risk not knowing Him then?

I know that everything I do for Him would count for nothing if I don’t know Him personally. I could preach the Gospel to 1,000 people, write 10,000 articles in this blog or sing 100,000 songs — still it would count for nothing in the end without Jesus in me. Tomorrow we will commemorate the Good Friday, the day when He died for you and me 2,000 years ago on the cross. With His nail-scarred hands, He is coming and reaching out His hand to you and me, seeking to embrace us and free us from our sins. Would we gladly accept His call to come and know Him personally, or would we pass this chance and be lost for all eternity?

Alone Is When You Hug A Pillow

Alone is being in a crowd of people
   yet not being able to share soul to soul with one of them
Alone is when you hug a pillow
   and longed to be hugged back with love and warmth
Alone is when you are the only one
   who notices a beautiful tree, flower, bird, mountain or sunset
Alone is suffering sadness, joy or excitement
   and knowing that nobody else feels it the same way
Alone is sharing something with someone
   and finding they don’t care or understand
Alone is having an ache that doesn’t give up
   like having a funeral going on inside all the time
Alone is going to sleep
   because the pain of staying awake is too much to bear
Alone is finding someone who loves, cares and understands
   and yet having to part because God forbids it
Alone is hearing “I will never leave you nor forsake you”
   and yet never seeing or feeling the evidence of this
Alone is praying to emptiness
   I am alone – I cannot flee from it or change it. I can only end it.

Taken from “Taming Your Emotional Tigers” (1998) by Tony Ward

The Door and The Key

Author’s Note:
Originally written on February 2007 and migrated here.

God gave each one of us different talents, abilities and gifts that we must use for His purposes. More often than not, though, when we first accepted Jesus into our lives, we didn’t know what potentials we have and what gifts we can use to bring glory to His name. It’s like God has given us a lot of things, but those things lie behind a special door, locked with a special keyhole that only a special key can open. A unique key, one that is made to open your door and unleash the potential that lies beyond that door.

The church is the key. God has given them the responsibility to nurture the growth of the believers and help them find and achieve their true purpose in life, that is to glorify God with all their have and what God has given them. As each of us is unique and have our own special keyholes, there are also a vast number of churches in this world and one of them has been specially designed to fit our keyhole and open the door. This is also one reason why we shouldn’t dispute between the large number of denominations and claim that one is better than the other, for every one of the churches are made according to God’s own design and purpose, as part of the Body of Christ. They were made to nurture and attend to different kinds of believers, each becoming unique keys to open up the different types of doors that each believer may have.

Now what will happen if you force a key that doesn’t fit into a keyhole, trying to open the door? Which one will be broken in the end? The key or the keyhole?

The Mountain Road

Author’s Note:
Originally written on January 2007 and migrated here.

There are moments in life where I felt like my spiritual maturity would never be able to go further than it is already. Everytime I took a step forward, I took another five steps backward. It feels like the struggle to reach spiritual maturity is a trivial one. You go very slowly up the mountain, and yet one small slip on the way up would send you tumbling back again to ground zero. When you think of reaching spiritual maturity as a journey to go towards the peak of a mountain, you feel like the road is so slippery that you would never ever be able to reach the top. In this moment in life, when I needed just another truth to move my life back on the track again, God provided me with an allusion that helped me understood it all.

Take this spiritual journey as going up the mountain road by a car. If you drove manual, you’ll understand this truth better. When you go with your car up a mountain, do you go by the first gear or you go by the final gear? Of course, you’ll use the first gear (even the strongest car with the most experienced driver out there won’t dare climb a mountain on full speed with the final gear, no matter what those mountain drift movies told us). The first gear, while slow, gives you the most power (torque) out of your car. It gives you stability. No matter how slow it may be, you’re sure that at the end of the day, you’ll eventually reach the top. Even though at times your engine won’t be strong enough to take it all in one stride and you need to take stops to cool down and rest the engine along the way, you know, you will still get to the top this way.

There’s a spiritual lesson to be learned from this. Most of the time, we want to go towards that maturity peak as soon as possible, as fast as we can. Well, just like a car speeding towards the mountain peak can fall towards the bottom of the ravine, going too fast at your own set pace can send you towards the bottom of the pit. Learn to follow God’s pace, not yours. It may be a seemingly slow-paced journey up the mountain, but with God, who knows the mountain road best and knows the best pace for you to tackle it on, you’re sure to reach the top one day. It may be a hard journey with a lot of breakdowns, tears and agony – God understands it.

At times where you can’t take it anymore, He will give you rest. He will ask you to hand your burden to Him and He will carry you through it all. There may be some rests and “pit-stops” that you will need along the way – moments when you’ll need to get closer to God and understand His Word and purpose for your life, moments that will cool down any tension and stress you might have in your life and “refuel your tank” for the next trip up the mountain. Don’t push it all the way at once. As a car’s engine might overheat and break down from the pressure, you too can experience mental, spiritual and emotional breakdowns from your life’s pressure. Know when to stop and take a rest, taking a leave from your day-to-day trivialities to spend time with God, asking Him to heal you, refresh you, revitalize and reinvigorate you and provide you with strength for the coming day.

The next lesson we can learn comes from the question, “How do you get a car to go backwards when going up a mountain?”. Simple, you don’t even need to put the car into reverse or even neutral for that to happen. Just do nothing. The same principle applies to our spiritual lives. You don’t need an effort to backslide. Just do nothing – no prayers, no devotional times, no studying God’s word, nothing. Sometimes we may think that by doing nothing, we won’t be going up but we won’t be going down either. This is a very wrong and dangerous principle. Satan keeps trying to pull us down every moment in our lives, that’s why, like the way gravity pulls down your car in a mountain road, during the uphill battle of spiritual maturity, doing nothing will make you backslide, because there is a force out there that is pulling you down.

It is far easier for us to go down than to go up, far easier to backslide than to grow to maturity. But with God in our side, we will be abled to reach that goal He has set for us. Even though sometimes we may feel we’re going at the first gear, know that we’re making progress. And just as there’s no man crazy enough not to do anything when his car starts to go backwards in a mountain, we must do the same with our spiritual lives. When you feel you’re going down, hit the brakes, pull the handbrake! Stabilize yourself and keep going again, even with the first gear. As time passes, we will grow familiar with the temptations and tactics that Satan is using on us (as we grow familiar with the mountain road the more we tackle it on), and we will eventually be able to move up and up, no matter how slow-paced it may be, towards our final destination with God.

Imaging Jesus

Author’s Note:
Originally written on January 2007 and migrated here.

It’s imaging Jesus, not imagining Jesus.

It is a “day one” concept that was very important but I have seemingly forgotten until today when I was just reminded again of it in my first cellgroup meeting. I was lost and as you know, I was even looking for my own self image in the previous post. I don’t know what I should become. Then my friend strikes me with a question, “If now I ask you what kind of person you should become? What is all Nathan really should be like? What will be your answer?”. I paused for a moment to answer this question and I even went with some ‘general answers’ like must be mature and God-loving and all that. Then in a flash, the answer came.

I should be like Jesus.