O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I’m far away. You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know everything I do. You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord. You go before me and follow me.You place your hand of blessing on my head. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand! (Psalms 139:1-6, NLT)

Today’s events in the opening ceremony of my new DELL retail outlet that I was talking about in my previous post have totally proved that GOD takes care of even the most little things and strengthened my faith immensely. There were several unexpected problems that were coming my way in today’s preparations for the opening ceremony as I had to juggle three things at once this week: managing my DELL retail outlets (my usual work), managing the IT fair at Jatim Expo International and also managing the opening of this new retail outlet, something (or a lot of things) was bound to go wrong as I was pushing myself far beyond my limits leaving myself dead tired and totally stretched thin.

Deadline Day Issues
In my previous post, I stated that I have to deal with the store opening deadline, which is actually on November 1st, 2011. This deadline has given me a lot of headache, because at that point, I will still have an IT fair running at Jatim Expo so my time and resources would be really limited. My dad then made the decision that we were going to hold the store opening ceremony and blessings on November 5th, 2011 (today) and proceed to start the retail store’s operation on Monday, November 7th, 2011.

This hard decision was ultimately made to avoid any further conflict and issues with the mall’s management. Unfortunately, as this decision was made in quite a rush, it brought forth another issue that we only had a few days to prepare everything and finish the entire renovation work. I asked my contractors to make haste and finish things on time, and by God’s grace, the store interior renovations were completed by this morning, allowing me to proceed with the opening ceremony. There are still some minor work left to do on the exterior, but they should be finished by Sunday night, which means I should be able to finally open this store for business on Monday (barring any major unexpected things).

…And Then I Forgot To Ask Permission…
Yes, due to my hectic schedule, I actually forgot to inform the mall’s management about this opening ceremony and invite them to it. Since my store is located around the centre of an open area with a lot of traffic, it would have been wise to ask them for permission first, as the opening ceremony would start with a prayer meeting, which would have been a strange sight for people not familiar with it. So this morning I wrote an invitation letter and drove as fast as I can to the mall to finish this issue…

…only to find the management office CLOSED. I then asked a security guard nearby and he told me that it’s been a while since the management office are closed on Saturdays. Last I remembered, it was open on Saturdays, albeit only for a half-day. Well, at least since the management were closed, it means I wouldn’t have any problems with them today with the ceremony. But it sure led to another problem.

…And THERE WERE NO CHAIRS!!!
When I did my previous store opening ceremonies in this mall, the management would let me borrow their chairs for the event. Since their office was closed, it means there were no chairs that I could borrow! I then arranged for some chairs to be delivered from my office to the store, but it would take some time before the chairs arrived, while I had to start the opening ceremony real soon, as the guests were already coming in.

But GOD was Good and Gracious…
Since we had no chairs, the worship leader just asked us to stand around together in a circle. Somehow, this made the situation more intimate and I could certainly feel GOD’s presence being there. Although we only sang three songs in acapella (since we were worried it would have been too loud and distracting for the other stores nearby if we used a guitar), I felt the songs really came out from the heart towards GOD. After some testimonies from me and my dad as the store owners, it was then time for the sermon to begin.

To be honest, coming in to this opening ceremony, I didn’t know who was going to preach. I had hoped for someone from ICA to give the sermon and bless the store, but as I was very busy and it was all so sudden, I didn’t have the chance to invite someone from ICA. When the prayer meeting organizer asked who would I have liked to invite, my mind was just totally blank,as I couldn’t think clearly at that time due to hecticness. So I left the decision on whom to invite entirely on the organizer, but it turns out that GOD was the ultimate organizer and He made a divine appointment for me. Guess who GOD invited?

He Knows My Heart!

GOD sent two people, Mrs. Vonny and Mrs. Ruth Wills! Mrs. Ruth said that she was there to accompany Mrs. Vonny, but after Mrs. Vonny shared some of GOD’s Words with us, we had Mrs. Ruth also share a powerful closing message to all of us about being an impact in the marketplace through our action, to excel more than the world and show them that we are His children.

To be honest, this is far more than I expected. I didn’t believe that it would have turned out like this and it totally made my day to see Mrs. Ruth, one person I greatly admire and respect, to be there on one of the most important days in my life. After all, this was the opening ceremony of only my second store (yet, with many more I believe are still to come, GOD willing). It was seemingly such a simple, small, non-important request, one that came from my own personal desire, to have someone from ICA bless this store. But GOD listened to it nonetheless and fulfilled what I have not even dared to ask Him through prayers. I only keep this inside my heart as an “if only someone from ICA would bless this store..” statement, but He knows me from the inside out and sees deep into my heart.

Days like this are the days where you feel where GOD is really there and taking care of you. Even more than Mrs. Vonny and Mrs. Ruth Wills, today I felt GOD himself being there and blessing me through them. I hope that this simple testimony of mine will help you to have a steadfast faith, knowing that you have a living GOD that is more than alive, but also loves you and cares for you, even to the smallest details. May GOD bless you and keep you in His sights always.

When it’s all falling down on you
You’re crying out but you’re breaking in two
When it’s all crashing down on you
When there’s nothing you can do
There is someone who can carry you

Last Friday, it seemed as if things could not have been any worse. As some of you might know, currently I am in the process of opening a new DELL retail store in a shopping mall in Surabaya. Early on, when we came to the mall’s management to sign the agreement and legal contracts, there was one clause there that I said I couldn’t agree to.

The mall’s management stated that the store’s neon box has to be made by a certain neon box maker that was chosen by the mall. I said that this was not possible, as DELL have their own standards for their retail stores. The design of every store, including its neon box and store furnitures, are the same all over Indonesia. I did not even have to design or build a thing. I only need to facilitate the rent with the mall and provide the place for the store, then DELL would handle the store renovation and install everything for me. So basically it just works like this: I rent the place, DELL fixes it and then I operate it.

We talked about this at length, and I said that if that’s the rule over there and they cannot bend it, then I am okay with it and I would just tell DELL that they cannot open a store there. The guy from the management then said that the rule is flexible and is actually there just to ensure that the quality of the neon boxes in the mall are good and not made from rubbish material. As long as the quality of the neon box is good then there would be no issue with DELL installing it. He even pointed out another store that has installed their own neon box.

This point was actually very debatable as the clause said clearly that “the neon box cannot be installed by the store owner or the brand vendor (which means DELL)”, but as the guy convinced me that it would be okay, I decided to sign the agreement. Which is why I was very surprised when last Friday they turned back on their words and called me to say that I have to obey the clause and handle the neon box’s construction to their chosen maker.

I tried to call DELL and they said that I have to follow their rules, if I want to open a DELL retail store then all of the design, construction and installation have to be from them. I then called the mall’s management again to inform them of this, but they chose to keep their position too, even after I explained that I have told them all about this before when I was going to sign the agreement. Then they just say that this decision came “directly from the general manager”.

At this point I was becoming confused and angry, and I had a fit of rage. Despite this week’s teachings to guard my mind from murderous thoughts, those thoughts were exactly what I had in my mind after all this. I lost control of myself and was prepared to harm and do bad things to this person just to have my way with it (even though later when I came to my senses I learned that doing things physically won’t help at all, it would just make it worse).

Fortunately I have friends who prayed for me and calmed me down. I asked one friend to suggest some songs that he always run to when he’s in trouble like this. We went through several songs, but in the end I came back to the song that I’ve always listened to whenever I was in deep trouble: Delirious – Every Little Thing.

When it’s all falling down on you
You’re crying out but you’re breaking in two
When it’s all crashing down on you
When there’s nothing you can do
There is someone who can carry you

Then it proceeds to repeat this line:
“Every little thing’s… gonna be alright…”

EVERY little thing.
It means “not just some things, but all things”.

• Like what Peter told us on 1 Peter 5:7 (compare to Psalm 55:22) …
  “Give all (not some) your worries to God, for he cares about you.”
• Like what Paul believed in Phillipians 4:13 …
  “I can do all (not some) things through him who strengthens me.”

Every LITTLE thing.
It means not just the large and seemingly important things, but also the daily things that might seem small and trivial. He also cares for that.

• In Matthew 6:25-34, Jesus told us not to worry about everyday life, whether we have enough food, drink and clothes, because our heavenly Father knows that we needs them.
• In Phillipians 4:6, Paul urged us not to worry about anything and to pray for everything instead. Also to thank God for all that He has done.
• In Matthew 6:11, as part of the LORD’s Prayer, Jesus told us to pray for our daily bread. This also corresponds to the story about “manna” in Exodus 16 where the LORD provides daily provision for Israel.

Sometimes we never reach out to the LORD and trust Him to take care of the little things. We only run to him whenever there is a major crisis happening in our lives or there is a big decision we need to make. We tend to take matters into our own hands when it comes to the little things or daily life things. But these verses tells us otherwise: the LORD cares about our daily well-being and the little things in our lives.

And – this is the important part – if we never learn to trust Him with the small things in our lives, we will never be able to trust Him with the large things! If you never trusted the LORD to take care of your daily needs and decisions, how will you be able to trust in the LORD’s care and providence when a big decision needs to be made or a big storm is heading your way? You might think that you’ll be able to do it, but in reality, you won’t.

I’ll admit that I’m the kind of person who easily worry about things. Whenever something goes wrong, no matter how small it is, my panic mode instantly kicks in and I lose my calm. In these situations, I will usually trust my own judgment to make things right and forget to pray and ask the LORD for guidance. Whenever something bigger comes and I go into deeper panic, usually I will run to the LORD and pray about it, but I will still cling on to that matter, unable to just place it into GOD’s hands, trusting that He will take care of it and just rest peacefully.

Start trusting the LORD today will your small things,
then you will be able to trust Him with the large things.

I’ll close this with a recap on what happened that Monday. I went to the management office with my cousin (who was there to make sure I wouldn’t do anything rash and stupid) to meet the general manager and resolve the matter. When we arrived, the receptionist told us that the manager was still in a meeting and another staff will meet us briefly. When that staff arrived, we tried to explain our position of things, but before we finished, the staff just told us that the manager no longer have no problems with DELL building our neon sign and we can just proceed with things.

I was like all, “WHAT??!” – to be honest I came in there expecting a difficult negotiation and probably a war, but what I find was a peaceful resolution. I came expecting to be there for a long time, but all it took was no more than 10 minutes. Then I knew that it must have been GOD at work. To be honest, I didn’t pray and I didn’t ask GOD for a solution, as I was so full of rage and anger before that I forgot all about Him. Even if I did pray, I’m sure that I wouldn’t have been able to really trust Him and place the matter entirely in His hands either. But that day the LORD showed that He cared for me and He is willing to help me out in my times of trouble and need.

There are still problems ahead of me. I am not sure whether I can finish the store renovations before the deadline. I am not sure whether I can recruit and train enough staff before the store opening deadline. But now, I will learn to trust Him completely, even with the smallest things, so that when big things come my way, I will be able put my faith completely in Him.

If we are the body,
Why aren’t His arms reaching?
Why aren’t His hands healing?
Why aren’t His words teaching?

And if we are the body,
Why aren’t His feet going?
Why is His love not showing them
There is a way?

Sometimes, whenever we face difficulties in the church, difficult Christians, people who are not acting like they should, as believers and childrens of Christ – we hear people say “do not look at the people, but just look at Jesus”. For years I thought that this is the way to take when dealing with such people. But then I found out that this is not rightly so.

Sure, we fellow brethrens might be able to ignore such people and focus on Christ, but what about the people out there who haven’t yet met the “real” Christ? Then it is us that they see, as they cannot see the Christ that have died on the cross and gone to Heaven, it is us as the body of Christ that they can see, signifying to them the image of Christ.

But what happens if we, as the body of Christ, fails to understand this significance and in the end do not perform what God has commanded in the Bible? Love one another. Teach them and baptize them in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. What if we fail to do so? What if our arms aren’t reaching, our hands not healing, our words not teaching, our feet not going and our love fail to show them there is a way? What if we just live our lives just the way we want it, without even considering that we might be living the ways of the world, not the Christian way of life, simply because we think that our lives are ours, so we can do whatever we want with it?

Most of the time, we think the consequences of our actions will be only implied and judged upon ourselves, but as Christians, we bear the name of our Christ in our life and everything we do will not be judged only to ourselves, but also to Christ’s name. Simply put, if we do something bad, as we are the body of Christ, it is not only us the persons who will receive the bad reputation, but our Christ will also be humiliated and looked down upon. This is what is meant by being a “stumbling block” in the Bible, and surely we do not want that to happen. The Bible said that once you received salvation in Christ, “your life is not your own anymore, but it now belongs to Christ, as you have died and also been resurrected with Him”.

Now that you know this, start living your life for Him. As we have been honoured with the privilage to be called the children of God, we also have the responsibility to take care of His name everywhere we trail, as now we are associated with Him. Surely we do not want to put our Father to shame, so learn His words, obey His commandments and be a good witness. That way, when people see us – the body of Christ – they will get a glimpse into the image of what Christ really is.

START WITH LOVE.

With the GRACE,
“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16)

Comes the COMMANDMENT,
“By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.” (1 John 3:16)

These two “3:16″ verses written by John should underline the reason and the course of action for loving others. Only by having a sincere love of others can we become an embodiment of Christ. Through His love, we reach others, we heal others, we teach others and we go a long way to show them that there is more to this life and that there is a way to eternity, which is in Jesus Christ alone.

Let us become the body of Christ so that people could see Christ through us and in us. Let people see Christ through us and in us, so that they will believe in His salvation. Amen.

Just like you need to regularly go to the gym and pump iron to make your physical muscles grow, you also need to regularly and consciously make an effort to love and respect your parents, pumping up your ‘honor for parents’ and making it grow.

Interesting quote, isn’t it? That was one thing I learned from Pastor Jeff Hartensveld’s sermon “Honor Pumped Up” during today’s Parents Appreciation Day. If you never make any effort to love and respect your parents, then you will never be able to honor them. You won’t suddenly be respectful to your parents just because you want it to be or because you prayed for it. This reminds me of an old story where a woman was trying to kill her mother in law slowly with poison…

A long time ago, a girl named Li-Li got married and went to live with her husband and mother-in-law. In a very short time, Li-Li found that she couldn’t get along with her mother-in-law at all.Their personalities were very different, and Li-Li was angered by many of her mother-in-law’s habits. In addition, she criticized Li-Li constantly.

Days passed days, and weeks passed weeks. Li-Li and her mother-in-law never stopped arguing and fighting. But what made the situation even worse was that, according to their tradition, Li-Li had to serve and obey her every wish.All the anger and unhappiness in the house was causing the poor husband great distress. Finally, Li-Li could not stand her mother-in-law’s bad temper and dictatorship any longer, and she decided to do something about it.

Li-Li went to see her father’s good friend, Mr. Huang, who sold herbs. She told him the situation and asked if he would give her some poison so that she could solve the problem once and for all. Mr. Huang thought for a while, and finally said, Li-Li, I will help you solve your problem, but you must listen to me and obey what I tell you. Li-Li said, “Yes, Mr. Huang, I will do whatever you tell me to do.”

Mr.Huang went into the back room, and returned in a few minutes with a package of herbs. He told Li-Li, “I’m giving you this herbs extract that will slowly build up poison in her body. Every other day prepare some delicious meal and put a little of these herbs in her serving. But remember something very important; in order to make sure that nobody suspects you when she dies, you must be very careful to act very friendly towards her. Don’t argue with her, obey her every wish, and treat her like a queen.”

Li-Li thanked Mr. Huang and hurried home to start her plot of murdering her mother-in-law. Weeks went by, and months went by, and every other day, Li-Li served the specially treated food to her mother-in-law. She remembered what Mr.Huang had said about avoiding suspicion, so she controlled her temper, obeyed her mother-in-law, and treated her like her own mother.

After six months had passed, the whole household had changed. Li-Li had practiced controlling her temper so much that she found that she almost never got mad or upset. She hadn’t had an argument in six months with her mother-in-law, who now seemed much kinder and easier to get along with.

The mother-in-law’s attitude toward Li-Li changed, and she began to love Li-Li like her own daughter. She kept telling friends and relatives that Li-Li was the best daughter-in-law one could ever find. Li-Li and her mother-in-law were now treating each other like a real mother and daughter. Li-Li’s husband was very happy to see what was happening.

One day, Li-Li came to see Mr. Huang and asked for his help again. She said, “Dear Mr. Huang, please help me to keep the poison from killing my mother-in-law! She’s changed into such a nice woman, and I love her like my own mother. I do not want her to die because of the poison I gave her.”

Mr. Huang smiled and nodded his head. “Li-Li, there’s nothing to worry about. I never gave you any poison. The herbs I gave you were vitamins to improve her health. The only poison was in your mind and your attitude toward her, but that has been all washed away by the love which you gave to her.”

Interesting story right? Though most of you will say it’s more easier said than done (and honestly that’s very true). I’ve taken my first step by bringing my mother to this Parents Appreciation Day. Honestly, I don’t feel safe and secure bringing her to my church, as she’s never been to my church and this church (which I’ve been attending for 2 years now) is quite different from the one I was going to and I don’t know what she would expect or think when she finally experience it on her own.

But truth be told, it couldn’t have been more fantastic. The sermon was fantastic and the atmosphere was fantastic. I can see the parents (my mother included) feeling really appreciated there, as the pastoral staff took their time after the service to introduce themselves, sit down and have a nice chat with the parents in Bahasa Indonesia, which was a great relief for some (well, many actually) parents who can’t speak English too well.

So, take your first step today in honoring and respecting your parents. Remember that “a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step” (Lao Tzu). Start with something small. Start your days from now on by thinking, “how can I show my parents that I honor and appreciate them today?”

This is the testimony of my baptism that took place today, on September 24th, 2011. I know that we have been asked to prepare just a short testimony, but I strongly feel that I need to write the entire story and post it here so that people can really know the story behind my decision to get baptized. This is also meant for those who could not attend the baptism earlier and could not listen to what I shared there (even though I shared only the short version there). So here it is, the whole truth and the whole story behind it.

The question that most of my friends seem to ask (especially from those that have known me for a time) when they heard I was getting baptized was, “Why did you choose to get baptized again? Didn’t you already get baptized in 2001?”. Some people thought I did this because my 2001 baptism was by sprinkling of water, while this one was baptism by immersion, but that’s not what it’s all about.

Back then in 2001, to be honest, when I was baptized I did not understand much about it. I did learn a lot about Jesus and who he was, also the Christian theology and the doctrines concerning Him during my eight week baptism class, but in the end, what it did was just to fill me up with “by the book” knowledge, not leading me to personally and intimately know Jesus as my LORD and savior.

Back then, I would have described Jesus the same way I would have described Steve Jobs today. I would have told people that Jesus was “the son of God who went to the cross to save mankind from their sins, died and rose again from the grave on the third day” the same way I would tell people that Steve Jobs is “the now ex-CEO of Apple who introduced us to the iPod, iPhone and iPad”. If somebody asked if I knew -personally- the person I was talking about, I would have said “no”.

In bahasa Indonesia there are two different words for the English word “know” – “tahu” dan “mengenal”. Back then I would have said that, “saya tahu Jesus tapi saya tidak sungguh mengenal Dia”. Asked if my knowledge of Jesus at that time would have impacted my life thoroughly and personally, I would also have said “no”. At that moment he was just a character from the books for me, none different than Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton or any other character from history.

It was actually two years after that early baptism that I began to really know Him and chase after Him. What made me hesitant to follow Jesus was the feeling that I was inadequate for Him and He could have no use of me. The LORD answered my fears through Ray Boltz’s song “Thank You”, which taught me that no matter how small something may seem, if I really give it all to the LORD and do it all for Him, He would actually use it in great ways for His glory.

The next year, in 2004, the LORD opened a way for me to join the music ministry, specifically, in the choir. It was a ministry that I believed I wouldn’t have been able to do if it wasn’t from the LORD. That time, I had no music talents at all and music was one area of ministry which I personally believed I would never be able to do in my whole life (as my friends used to run away whenever I started singing).

But the LORD changed me, transformed me and used me in mysterious ways in this ministry, and during the two years I was in the choirs, I learned so much about music that it effectively changed my whole life and it became a gift from God to me, something which has become my love language with God even today. You who know me today, especially those who have only known me since 2009 in ICA, would not believe how senseless I was about music before 2004, as I constantly got grades between 30% to 40% in the music classes during my high school days.

As the years gone by, there was a deep desire within me to get baptized again, this time on my own accord, because that first time, I felt that I didn’t do it on my own will (it was actually due to peer pressure) and I didn’t fully understand the significance and meaning. I wanted to do it again, this time with the full understanding, full obedience and full submission to the LORD, surrendering my whole life to Him. But for years, I was sitting on the fence and I didn’t know when I should do it and IF I should really do it.

It was not until Pastor Jeff started one of his sermons last month, conveying the message which he strongly felt the Holy Spirit wanted him to say, that “if you have not been baptized in water, you should do it now”. It was at this point that I felt God through his Spirit convinced me to do it, and inside my heart, I said to God, “okay LORD, I will do it”. In the end, I set up a conviction for myself to be baptized in the next baptism (which was today). I set my mind to follow in Jesus’ footsteps and example of obedience, doing what He commanded us to do in the Bible, and surrender everything I am into His will, letting Him take full control of me.

“…………………”

As I rose from the “watery grave”, I could not help but feel that I’ve done the right thing and I feel that now I am one step closer towards my obedience and surrender to the LORD. Today was my proclamation of faith, a moment in my life which I will be able to fondly look back in the future and say, “this is the point, the foothold in my spiritual life, where I took a step of faith and obedience to follow Jesus and surrender all to Him, proclaiming Him as my LORD and savior”.

I want to thank the LORD Jesus Christ for this amazing day, to Pastor Jeff Hartensveld and Pastor John Taylor who baptized me today and also to Pastor Poedji who prayed for me. Also thank you for the support and words of encouragement from my dear friends, Jos and Ossi Koevoet, Michael Yu (iLung) and Ridwan Soetanto (Bao-Bao). Last but not least, GO Wild West, thank you for coming today, and thank you for all your prayers and support as I can finally make it to this day.

God bless you all!

But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God — having a form of godliness but denying its power.
(2 Timothy 3:1-5)

Commentaries from the Life Application Bible and the IVP Commentary explained the fifth verse this way, “The ‘form’ or appearance of godliness includes going to church, knowing Christian doctrine, using Christian clichés, and following a community’s Christian traditions. Such practices can make a person outwardly look good, but if the inner attitudes of belief, love, and worship are lacking, the public appearance is hollow, meaningless. When confronted, their inability to express their faith will reveal that beneath the ‘form of godliness’ there is only a vacuum of unbelief. They make a claim to godliness (with their claim to know God) but deny this claim with their powerless lives.”

When I decided to study more about these verses after I heard them in a late sermon, I can’t help but to wonder if the “terrible times in the last days” mentioned here has come. Reading the commentaries, I can’t help but to feel that the verse is speaking to me, reminding me of my own fall. Yes, I might be still writing articles in this blog and I might still be going to church, but sometimes I do feel my inner attitudes of belief, love and worship are missing. I often lose heart and lose hope during my trials, and that led to enormous mood swings and bad tempers that has irritated many others. When I have a bad temper, I lost my love and began filling my mind with hatred and murderous thoughts. Worse still, it has been a few months since I had a proper quiet time. Nowadays it’s really hard for me to worship God. When I’m in church, I just want to skip right over to the sermon and pass the praise and worship moments.

This reminded me about Jesus’ strong words recorded on Matthew 7:21-23, “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’”.

These verses talk about how working for Jesus is useless if you don’t know Jesus personally. It would be like working hard in a company where you never knew who the boss is. When a hard time comes, you come to the boss and say to him, “Boss, I know we’re facing a hard time now, but I have been working for this company 20 years, how could you just fire me?”. Imagine how would you respond if the boss replied “Get away from me. I never knew you!”, knowing still that his words were true — despite working for 20 years in the company, you never bothered to find out who you’re working for and get to know him. What would you do if it is Jesus who speak those words to you in the last day? Would you risk not knowing Him then?

I know that everything I do for Him would count for nothing if I don’t know Him personally. I could preach the Gospel to 1,000 people, write 10,000 articles in this blog or sing 100,000 songs — still it would count for nothing in the end without Jesus in me. Tomorrow we will commemorate the Good Friday, the day when He died for you and me 2,000 years ago on the cross. With His nail-scarred hands, He is coming and reaching out His hand to you and me, seeking to embrace us and free us from our sins. Would we gladly accept His call to come and know Him personally, or would we pass this chance and be lost for all eternity?

Alone is being in a crowd of people
   yet not being able to share soul to soul with one of them
Alone is when you hug a pillow
   and longed to be hugged back with love and warmth
Alone is when you are the only one
   who notices a beautiful tree, flower, bird, mountain or sunset
Alone is suffering sadness, joy or excitement
   and knowing that nobody else feels it the same way
Alone is sharing something with someone
   and finding they don’t care or understand
Alone is having an ache that doesn’t give up
   like having a funeral going on inside all the time
Alone is going to sleep
   because the pain of staying awake is too much to bear
Alone is finding someone who loves, cares and understands
   and yet having to part because God forbids it
Alone is hearing “I will never leave you nor forsake you”
   and yet never seeing or feeling the evidence of this
Alone is praying to emptiness
   I am alone – I cannot flee from it or change it. I can only end it.

Taken from “Taming Your Emotional Tigers” (1998) by Tony Ward

God gave each one of us different talents, abilities and gifts that we must use for His purposes. More often than not, though, when we first accepted Jesus into our lives, we didn’t know what potentials we have and what gifts we can use to bring glory to His name. It’s like God has given us a lot of things, but those things lie behind a special door, locked with a special keyhole that only a special key can open. A unique key, one that is made to open your door and unleash the potential that lies beyond that door.

The church is the key. God has given them the responsibility to nurture the growth of the believers and help them find and achieve their true purpose in life, that is to glorify God with all their have and what God has given them. As each of us is unique and have our own special keyholes, there are also a vast number of churches in this world and one of them has been specially designed to fit our keyhole and open the door. This is also one reason why we shouldn’t dispute between the large number of denominations and claim that one is better than the other, for every one of the churches are made according to God’s own design and purpose, as part of the Body of Christ. They were made to nurture and attend to different kinds of believers, each becoming unique keys to open up the different types of doors that each believer may have.

Now what will happen if you force a key that doesn’t fit into a keyhole, trying to open the door? Which one will be broken in the end? The key or the keyhole?

The answer is both.

When we force ourselves to serve and minister in ways that we’re not made to, we will either become bored or disgruntled, and soon our ministry will lose their meaning. Either we will stop ministering because we can find no meaning, or we can keep on ministering without meaning, both of which are bad for our spiritual health and growth. In this manner, our door is now left unopened because there is a wrong key on the keyhole that prevented us to put in the right key and open the door. We lose every reason to open the door, and we lose the desire to find the right key to open the door and we just leave the non-fitting key as it is on the keyhole. We just let things be, satisfied with the closed door, thinking “that’s as far as I get on opening the door”.

Ministering in the wrong place can also bring pain and hurt, and block us from opening the door. I tried ministering in music when I was in high school, but my high school fellowship was not the place to nurture my musical talent, and in the end I experienced a hurt that kept me out from the music ministry for more than four years, thinking that it was not my talent. I didn’t realize that actually music IS on the other side of my door, because my wrong environment made me think otherwise, thus in this manner, by forcing to open the door, the false key have broken up the keyhole. It took me a long time before God fixed my broken keyhole, called me again to the ministry and this time provided me with the right key, the right church, to open my door, unlocking my potential on the musical ministry.

Doing the wrong ministry can also bring harm to the church. It has the potential to prevent others with a true calling to that ministry to do the ministry, because we are doing it. Let’s say that we are actually not called to be a songleader, but we keep on doing it out of obligation and duty. Another person who actually have the talent to be a songleader could not minister there because there were no room for him to join the ministry. In the end, he either went to another church and became a songleader there, or were forced to took part in another ministry that is not his true calling (and breaking his keyhole). Thus, the key has become dull and out of shape, losing its ability to open the doors it should have opened, and in turn, damaging the church itself. Ministry in the church began to lose meaning and effectiveness, and many people are left in the dark with their true potentials unrealized.

The question I want to ask you today is, “Have you found the right key?”. Do not force a key that doesn’t fit your shape into your keyhole, you will only damage yourself, others and the church. God won’t be pleased with that.

We can also have more than one door in our lives. I thank God that he has given me two churches, two keys that each opened up different doors in my life. The first one opened my musical talents, and the other one opened my evangelical, counseling and encouragement or sharing talents. I never knew I was cut out to share to others, to speak to others and help them and encourage them to find their true calling and their way to Christ. It has only been since last month that God opened up this door for me, before I would never have imagined I had this talent and calling. It has also called me to write a lot lately, because I learn a lot of things from sharing and listening to others, that I felt that I must share these experiences with others too with my writings. These were a whole new dimension of me, a whole new lot of potentials that I never knew were lying dormant inside me.

When your spiritual growth seems to have stopped, ask God whether you still have another door that He wants you to open. If the answer is yes, ask for His guidance and calling to show you the right place to nurture your next phase of spiritual growth, to “find your next key and open the next door”.

There are moments in life where I felt like my spiritual maturity would never be able to go further than it is already. Everytime I took a step forward, I took another five steps backward. It feels like the struggle to reach spiritual maturity is a trivial one. You go very slowly up the mountain, and yet one small slip on the way up would send you tumbling back again to ground zero. When you think of reaching spiritual maturity as a journey to go towards the peak of a mountain, you feel like the road is so slippery that you would never ever be able to reach the top. In this moment in life, when I needed just another truth to move my life back on the track again, God provided me with an allusion that helped me understood it all.

Take this spiritual journey as going up the mountain road by a car. If you drove manual, you’ll understand this truth better. When you go with your car up a mountain, do you go by the first gear or you go by the final gear? Of course, you’ll use the first gear (even the strongest car with the most experienced driver out there won’t dare climb a mountain on full speed with the final gear, no matter what those mountain drift movies told us). The first gear, while slow, gives you the most power (torque) out of your car. It gives you stability. No matter how slow it may be, you’re sure that at the end of the day, you’ll eventually reach the top. Even though at times your engine won’t be strong enough to take it all in one stride and you need to take stops to cool down and rest the engine along the way, you know, you will still get to the top this way.

There’s a spiritual lesson to be learned from this. Most of the time, we want to go towards that maturity peak as soon as possible, as fast as we can. Well, just like a car speeding towards the mountain peak can fall towards the bottom of the ravine, going too fast at your own set pace can send you towards the bottom of the pit. Learn to follow God’s pace, not yours. It may be a seemingly slow-paced journey up the mountain, but with God, who knows the mountain road best and knows the best pace for you to tackle it on, you’re sure to reach the top one day. It may be a hard journey with a lot of breakdowns, tears and agony – God understands it.

At times where you can’t take it anymore, He will give you rest. He will ask you to hand your burden to Him and He will carry you through it all. There may be some rests and “pit-stops” that you will need along the way – moments when you’ll need to get closer to God and understand His Word and purpose for your life, moments that will cool down any tension and stress you might have in your life and “refuel your tank” for the next trip up the mountain. Don’t push it all the way at once. As a car’s engine might overheat and break down from the pressure, you too can experience mental, spiritual and emotional breakdowns from your life’s pressure. Know when to stop and take a rest, taking a leave from your day-to-day trivialities to spend time with God, asking Him to heal you, refresh you, revitalize and reinvigorate you and provide you with strength for the coming day.

The next lesson we can learn comes from the question, “How do you get a car to go backwards when going up a mountain?”. Simple, you don’t even need to put the car into reverse or even neutral for that to happen. Just do nothing. The same principle applies to our spiritual lives. You don’t need an effort to backslide. Just do nothing – no prayers, no devotional times, no studying God’s word, nothing. Sometimes we may think that by doing nothing, we won’t be going up but we won’t be going down either. This is a very wrong and dangerous principle. Satan keeps trying to pull us down every moment in our lives, that’s why, like the way gravity pulls down your car in a mountain road, during the uphill battle of spiritual maturity, doing nothing will make you backslide, because there is a force out there that is pulling you down.

It is far easier for us to go down than to go up, far easier to backslide than to grow to maturity. But with God in our side, we will be abled to reach that goal He has set for us. Even though sometimes we may feel we’re going at the first gear, know that we’re making progress. And just as there’s no man crazy enough not to do anything when his car starts to go backwards in a mountain, we must do the same with our spiritual lives. When you feel you’re going down, hit the brakes, pull the handbrake! Stabilize yourself and keep going again, even with the first gear. As time passes, we will grow familiar with the temptations and tactics that Satan is using on us (as we grow familiar with the mountain road the more we tackle it on), and we will eventually be able to move up and up, no matter how slow-paced it may be, towards our final destination with God.

It’s imaging Jesus, not imagining Jesus.

It is a “day one” concept that was very important but I have seemingly forgotten until today when I was just reminded again of it in my first cellgroup meeting. I was lost and as you know, I was even looking for my own self image in the previous post. I don’t know what I should become. Then my friend strikes me with a question, “If now I ask you what kind of person you should become? What is all Nathan really should be like? What will be your answer?”. I paused for a moment to answer this question and I even went with some ‘general answers’ like must be mature and God-loving and all that. Then in a flash, the answer came.

I should be like Jesus.

My friend snapped his fingers and said “That’s it!”. But then I continued to discuss about how it is very difficult to assess what Jesus was like. We have no clear -animated- depiction of Him and a full account of Him like His habits, activities, what he’s doing in His spare time, even how he talks, unlike some other characters we can clearly see presented in movies or so. Then he continued to discuss about how actually a lot on Jesus’ character is presented if we care to delve deep enough into it to see more into His personality.

Jesus was a fun person, and maybe even a fun-loving one. We see this part in how the children seems to like Him so much that the adults have to try keeping them away from Him. Of course children wouldn’t want to draw near to Jesus is He was scary, too serious or too ‘strict’, right? So we might conclude that He is a fun person and children like Him. But at times when He have to, He can also be firm and strict. He is not easily swayed by other people and He holds on to what He knows is true.

Like some of us, Jesus even had a run-in with tax collectors (see Matthew 17:24-27) and He followed the law. This tax was actually voluntary (com: Albert Barnes), but “from Peter’s reply, it is evident that our Lord customarily paid all taxes, tributes, etc., which were common among the people wherever he came. The children of God are subject to all civil laws in the places where they live – and should pay the taxes levied on them by public authority; and though any of these should be found unjust, they rebel not, as their business is not to reform the politics of nations, but the morals of the world.” (com: Adam Clarke).

Jesus experienced losses too. Although this point was debatable, if we see in the later chapters of the Gospels, Joseph was never again mentioned. Can it be that Joseph has passed away by the time Jesus started His ministry? Quite possible. And how about the responsibility to take care of our family? Jesus experienced it too. Think about it, Jesus was the firstborn son in Mary and Joseph’s family. If Joseph was gone, who would have the responsiblity to take care of the family’s well being? We see His love for His family. Even in the cross, Jesus thought of Mary and asked John to take care of her. So clearly we could see how Jesus behaves towards His family and parents here. Ever experienced family rejection? Jesus did too. If you read the whole story on Mark 3:20-35, His family thought Jesus has gone crazy and they went to take Him away (see commentary).

There are still a lot more to see on Jesus’ life and I can’t wait for the next cellgroup meetings to learn more about Him. My cellgroup leader have agreed that we will focus to study on Jesus’ life and try to image Jesus into our life. I think this will be very good for my personal and spiritual maturity development and I will continue to share more about it here as I learn more. Jesus is the only one we should try to learn from and imitate in our lives, the perfect embodiment of truth and life. I’m surprised that it took me all these long to finally learn of this very basic mistake of me that prevented me from growing any further in my spiritual maturity…