Hugging a Pillow

Alone is being in a crowd of people
   yet not being able to share soul to soul with one of them
Alone is when you hug a pillow
   and longed to be hugged back with love and warmth
Alone is when you are the only one
   who notices a beautiful tree, flower, bird, mountain or sunset
Alone is suffering sadness, joy or excitement
   and knowing that nobody else feels it the same way
Alone is sharing something with someone
   and finding they don’t care or understand
Alone is having an ache that doesn’t give up
   like having a funeral going on inside all the time
Alone is going to sleep
   because the pain of staying awake is too much to bear
Alone is finding someone who loves, cares and understands
   and yet having to part because God forbids it
Alone is hearing “I will never leave you nor forsake you”
   and yet never seeing or feeling the evidence of this
Alone is praying to emptiness
   I am alone – I cannot flee from it or change it. I can only end it.

Taken from “Taming Your Emotional Tigers” (1998) by Tony Ward