Just like you need to regularly go to the gym and pump iron to make your physical muscles grow, you also need to regularly and consciously make an effort to love and respect your parents, pumping up your ‘honor for parents’ and making it grow.
Interesting quote, isn’t it? That was one thing I learned from Pastor Jeff Hartensveld’s sermon “Honor Pumped Up” during today’s Parents Appreciation Day. If you never make any effort to love and respect your parents, then you will never be able to honor them. You won’t suddenly be respectful to your parents just because you want it to be or because you prayed for it. This reminds me of an old story where a woman was trying to kill her mother in law slowly with poison…
A long time ago, a girl named Li-Li got married and went to live with her husband and mother-in-law. In a very short time, Li-Li found that she couldn’t get along with her mother-in-law at all.Their personalities were very different, and Li-Li was angered by many of her mother-in-law’s habits. In addition, she criticized Li-Li constantly.
Days passed days, and weeks passed weeks. Li-Li and her mother-in-law never stopped arguing and fighting. But what made the situation even worse was that, according to their tradition, Li-Li had to serve and obey her every wish.All the anger and unhappiness in the house was causing the poor husband great distress. Finally, Li-Li could not stand her mother-in-law’s bad temper and dictatorship any longer, and she decided to do something about it.
Li-Li went to see her father’s good friend, Mr. Huang, who sold herbs. She told him the situation and asked if he would give her some poison so that she could solve the problem once and for all. Mr. Huang thought for a while, and finally said, Li-Li, I will help you solve your problem, but you must listen to me and obey what I tell you. Li-Li said, “Yes, Mr. Huang, I will do whatever you tell me to do.”
Mr.Huang went into the back room, and returned in a few minutes with a package of herbs. He told Li-Li, “I’m giving you this herbs extract that will slowly build up poison in her body. Every other day prepare some delicious meal and put a little of these herbs in her serving. But remember something very important; in order to make sure that nobody suspects you when she dies, you must be very careful to act very friendly towards her. Don’t argue with her, obey her every wish, and treat her like a queen.”
Li-Li thanked Mr. Huang and hurried home to start her plot of murdering her mother-in-law. Weeks went by, and months went by, and every other day, Li-Li served the specially treated food to her mother-in-law. She remembered what Mr.Huang had said about avoiding suspicion, so she controlled her temper, obeyed her mother-in-law, and treated her like her own mother.
After six months had passed, the whole household had changed. Li-Li had practiced controlling her temper so much that she found that she almost never got mad or upset. She hadn’t had an argument in six months with her mother-in-law, who now seemed much kinder and easier to get along with.
The mother-in-law’s attitude toward Li-Li changed, and she began to love Li-Li like her own daughter. She kept telling friends and relatives that Li-Li was the best daughter-in-law one could ever find. Li-Li and her mother-in-law were now treating each other like a real mother and daughter. Li-Li’s husband was very happy to see what was happening.
One day, Li-Li came to see Mr. Huang and asked for his help again. She said, “Dear Mr. Huang, please help me to keep the poison from killing my mother-in-law! She’s changed into such a nice woman, and I love her like my own mother. I do not want her to die because of the poison I gave her.”
Mr. Huang smiled and nodded his head. “Li-Li, there’s nothing to worry about. I never gave you any poison. The herbs I gave you were vitamins to improve her health. The only poison was in your mind and your attitude toward her, but that has been all washed away by the love which you gave to her.”
Interesting story right? Though most of you will say it’s more easier said than done (and honestly that’s very true). I’ve taken my first step by bringing my mother to this Parents Appreciation Day. Honestly, I don’t feel safe and secure bringing her to my church, as she’s never been to my church and this church (which I’ve been attending for 2 years now) is quite different from the one I was going to and I don’t know what she would expect or think when she finally experience it on her own.
But truth be told, it couldn’t have been more fantastic. The sermon was fantastic and the atmosphere was fantastic. I can see the parents (my mother included) feeling really appreciated there, as the pastoral staff took their time after the service to introduce themselves, sit down and have a nice chat with the parents in Bahasa Indonesia, which was a great relief for some (well, many actually) parents who can’t speak English too well.
So, take your first step today in honoring and respecting your parents. Remember that “a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step” (Lao Tzu). Start with something small. Start your days from now on by thinking, “how can I show my parents that I honor and appreciate them today?”